


If I Lay Here

by thequeenwhowaited



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Highschool AU, Hugs, Hurt Castiel, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Minor Canonical Character(s), Past Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, Poems, Slow Build Castiel/Dean Winchester, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Tears, Tongue Piercings, Unrequited Love, Writer Castiel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-04
Updated: 2014-08-03
Packaged: 2018-01-21 22:09:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1565777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thequeenwhowaited/pseuds/thequeenwhowaited
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At 16 years 4 months and 22 days Castiel Novak had a problem. It wasn't a serious problem but it was life threatening and it kinda hurt. For you see, Castiel "James" Jimmy Novak's heart had done something its never done before... skip a beat. But this wasn't the problem... The problem was who it was skipping for. It wasn't skipping for the cute brunette in Algebra or that red head 2 locker doors down.</p>
<p>His heart had the audacity to skip for the worst person (or best according to his heart).... Dean Winchester, school delinquent.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm challenging myself to post every week. These chapters are out of order though. Sometimes, the chapters are main plot points or other times its an important item to a character or even backstory. You'll never know. Also some of the chapters will only be a few sentences but others will be thousands of words long.

At 16 years 4 months and 22 days Castiel Novak had a problem. It wasn't a serious problem but it was life threatening and it kinda hurt. For you see, Castiel "James" Jimmy Novak's heart had done something its never done before... skip a beat. But this wasn't the problem... The problem was who it was skipping for. It wasn't skipping for the cute brunette in Algebra or that red head 2 locker doors down.

His heart had the audacity to skip for the worst person (or best according to his heart).... Dean Winchester, school delinquent. 

So poor Castiel clenched his heart in confusion and did what he had done the previous 16 years 4 months 22 days 9 hours 44 minutes 25 seconds he ignored his heart and went on his way. 

Little did he know that one Dean Winchester at 17 years 0 months and 1 day, his arm slung across Lisa Braeden, childhood girlfriend, was experiencing the same piercing pain in his heart.

Only he didn't ignore it and green eyes followed our blue eyed black haired trench-coated character down the crowded hallway.


	2. Our Main Characters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel was always a strange child.... Dean was always a charmer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first story so any advice is lovely

"When you're watching twenty kids on a daily basis, one or two of them tend to wander off." quote from Castiel's pre-school teacher, a disarrayed woman of her late 20s.

At 5 years 11 months and 14 days, Castiel was a more than quiet child. His parents, because of their hectic work schedule, were forced to place him( and his 4 siblings Anna, Gabriel, Michael, Alfie) in a daycare/pre-school.

It was a standard kid keeping facility. The smell of paste and play-doh was constant. The children a mix of sticky hands and runny noses. 

But then there was Castiel. White shirt and blue tied Castiel. Every day, he would sit in his chair and pull out a book. He didn't care for other children. They were always loud and always in the way and just so messy. So Castiel flew to Neverland with Peter Pan, walked through the island of wild things with Max, and explored Wonderland with Alice. 

Two doors down the chaos of the Caterpillar Room and Castiel was a Dean Winchester, at 6 years 4 months and 16 days. 

Lisa Braeden, at 6 years 3 months and 22 days had did something that she didn't dared to do before. She linked her chubby hand in Dean's equally chubby hand and blushing profusely gave him a kiss. She had liked him since day one and she eagerly waited for the time when he would like her back but frankly, she was done waiting and she took her fate by the neck.

Dean was surprised that Lisa had kissed him and kissed her back, causing both of them to get a suspension when Tommy told the teacher not two seconds later.

As they were at the Principals office, Dean trying to explain to his mother what had happened and Lisa crying because she was in trouble and she had never gotten in trouble in her life. Little Castiel, with his new book eagerly tucked under his arm had escaped his play-doh classroom, and was looking for a better place to read. Castiel passed the Principal's office just as Dean had opened the door and for a brief moment time stood still. 

Then it rushed quickly leaving behind a embarrassed Castiel rushing to the playground and with a nonchalant Dean being escorted by his mother in the other direction.


	3. The First Day Sucks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel needs to loosen up and more on Dean and Lisa's relationship plus that good ole Winchester banter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I posted another chapter and omg it's almost at 2,000 words.

Have you ever done anything stupid?

Anything so mind numbingly, I-wish-that-I-could-relive-that-last-hour, oh-god-of-blackholes-take-me-away stupid.

Imagine that but like a million zillion times worse.

First day of school level embarrassment

Actually it was the first day of school.

The first day, the 6 of September, of junior year at Lawrence City High for our two characters.

And what better way to describe our characters that what was in their lockers?

Here is Castiel at 15 years 9 months and 5 days, his hair is growing into his eyes and his blue tie refuses to be straightened. He’s just gotten out of a truck. A 1997 Toyota Tacoma. Black. License plates 2SWEET4U 

Gabriel has rolled leaned out the window and “I hope you have a marvelous day, sweetcheecks! I’ll pick you up after school!” And he blows him the biggest, most exaggerated kiss ever. 

Castiel just rolls his eyes and puts his worn copy of the Great Gatsby back into his side bag and rubs the pins for good luck. 

His sister Anna giggles and kisses him on the cheek before flouncing off to talk to her friends. His brother Alfie shoves his hands into his pockets of his hoodie and wishes his brother a good day.

Castiel walks through the green and white tiled hallway. His hands clench and unclench the strap of his side bag and his boots make scuffing sounds against the tile though it can hardly be heard above the constant chatter of students reuniting over break and discussing the new year.

Castiel gets to the office in one piece, ruffling his bangs to see the secretary banging away at her computer.

Castiel clears his throat and attempts to say good morning but it comes out more gruffier then he expects.

She looks up “Name?”

“Castiel Novak. Uh… M’am…?”

“Another Novak?” the secretary says with a sigh as she reaches into the files nearly bursting at her side. “Homerooms 305. Locker Number 215. Don’t damage the lock. Schedule. First bell at 8:05. And paperwork for your parents. Bring it in by Monday and you won’t be expelled.”

“I’m sorry…?”

“Joking… Joking” the secretary waves him away, “But seriously, loosen up”

Castiel glances at tie, which has again flipped itself over, and loosens the knot.

Castiel studies the paper in front of him trying to read the school map which has been printed to a microscale and is rough on his eyes. He squints and rubs his eyes wishing that his contacts would stop irritating him.

“Castiel?” an Asian boy wearing plaid is waiting for him outside the office. “Kevin. Kevin Tran. Captain of the Math and Science Club and President of Robotics. Welcome to LC. Population of 800 douche bags, assholes, and wannabes including yours truly.” He rubbed the back of his head, “I’m supposed to be your guide but I thought you were supposed to be a freshman… ” he trails off.

“Long story.” Castiel shrugged his shoulders.

“Well, you’re here now. That’s all that matters. And Lockers are in that directions.” Kevin points to the left.

 

Meanwhile, another black car pulls up to painted curb.

“Sammy, I told you I could get here in ten minutes”

“We only had to race here because you were taking up all the hot water, jerk!”

“At least, I don’t take three hours to get ready like a girl, bitch!”

“Boys, shut up. You’re both pretty.”

“Oh c’mon Lisa. You know I’m right”

“Dean, though you have to prove every five minutes that you’re better than everyone, some of us would like to last the day without dying.”

“Yeah, Dean”

“And Sam you do spend longer than I do in the bathroom.”

“Yeah Sam.”

“Let’s just go to school assholes” 

Dean locks the Impala and throws on his leather jacket. “Well it’s time to show the freshman whose boss again.”

Lisa rolls her eyes and gingerly steps out of the car “Alright machoman, just don’t get in trouble.” She kisses him on the cheek and he blushes and kisses her back, threading her hair through his course hands.  
“Eww. Gross. Get a room” Sam shrugs on his backpack and walks off

Dean just gives him the middle finger behind Lisa’s back.

 

 

Castiel opens his locker and find that the last recipient has conveniently left two green shelves as well as a mysterious sticky brown stain on the bottom of it.

He cringes in disgust and hangs up his trenchcoat and side bag to reveal a blue vest ensemble complete with a blue tie and black jeans.

Kevin, equally disgusted, passes him a good wad of paper towels from seemingly nowhere.

Castiel rolls up his sleeves and starts scrubbing at the stain.

After a good scrubbing and a bit of sweat, it faded kinda? It was less visible and ten times less sticky but he managed to make it better. Slightly.

“So why Castiel?”

Castiel almost jumped. He had forgotten about the kid now playing on an Ipad and slouching against another locker.

“My mother believed that there were angels amongst us so she named all of her children after angels.”

“Oh like the angels from New Haven?” Kevin had perked up in interest “Y’know Big fluffy wings and halos the whole nine?”

Castiel grimaced and wiped the sweat beading down his face. “No. More like warriors and messengers of God”

Kevin was then shoved over by a tall, gangly kid with a big forehead. Castiel leaped up from his crouched position, eager to protect his new friend.

“Oh sorry, Kev. I didn’t see you there.” He joked and then he noticed Castiel. “I’m Sam by the way. Sam Winchester.” He extended his hand.

“Har, har. Gigantor. Castiel chill. He acts threatening but he wouldn’t hurt a fly. His brother on the other hand.”

“I’m sorry to make presumptuous accusations by your aggressive appearance, Sam” Castiel tasted the name in his mouth and shook his large hand.

“Nice to meet you, Cas. Are you spreading rumors again, Kev? Dean gonna be pissed.”

“Castiel” Castiel muttered under his breath.

Kevin shrugged his shoulders and called over his shoulder “First bell rings in twenty, Cas.”

“CAStiel” Castiel mumbled a bit louder.

“You gotta loosen up man, and unstick that stick up your ass” Sam opened locker 217.

“So I have been told,” Castiel sighed and began to unpack his side bag.

It has been a while since Castiel had walked down the paths of Wonderland. He now sympathized with Frankenstein’s Monster, wrote poetry with Poe and T.S. Elliot, and listened to Shakespeare’s sonnets. Gatsby was the first to meet the shelf. The foreboding eyes staring from the worn down cover. Hamlet, thoroughly dog-eared, was next. Along with a fake skull that was fondly named Yorick. The Head-less Horseman came prancing in next as well as his new favorite Perks of Being a Wallflower. Finally, came Frankenstein and the Invisible Man.

Castiel loaded the second shelf with the various books and notebooks that Anna had collected for him. He double checked that he had everything for first period, shoved his arms through his trenchcoat, and spun the lock.

Sam noticing that he was done tried to approach him “If there’s anything you need, Class referrals…. lunch table… Math tutoring Just ask.”

Castiel just stared at him and mumbled “Thank you, Sam. But I won’t be here very long” He then turned on his heel and left Samuel Winchester speechless for the very first time.

Thankfully, his brother rounded the corner just as Castiel was lost to the crowd.

“Who were you talking to Sammy? New teacher?” Dean called in greeting.

“Nah. Student actually, Castiel. Didn’t get a last name though” Sam shrugged and continued to shove books into his locker.

“Dude needs to loosen up.” Dean played with the braided cord on his wrist and thought pensively.

“That’s what I said!” Sam threw his hands up into the air.

“Castiel… Castiel… Oh yeah!” Dean snaped the band against his wrist “That senior chick Anna that I meet at Benny’s party last summer. N- something or whatever. That’s her little brother. The girl was gushing over him.” 

“Oh, Anna Novak? The less you can do is know the names of the girls you fucked Dean” Sam shook his head.

“I knew it started with an N, Sammy, God. And anyway don’t go blabbing about Anna to Lisa” Dean rubbed the back of his head “Lisa doesn’t really know about it”

“I wonder why she stays with you. I really do.”

Dean punched Sam in the arm and Sam slung his backpack on his back and walk away but not before giving an equally strong punch right back.

“Later, bitch.”

“Jerk.” Sam had given him the middle finger salute.

Dean walked to his locker which was right across the busy hallway. He had pulled some strings in the office and the locker had been his for the last three years. It was packed to the brim with any sugar or salty snack a teenager could want. The school had enforced a new healthier plan for lunch and despite protests from the student body, the school stood firm.

So Dean, Sam, Benny, Ash was part of a not-so-secret organizations that provided anyone who had the money with any type of junk food they craved.

Sam had installed an ipod dock, a shelving system to restock candy and mini-fridge, which was the home to many types of soda. He had mostly done it for the candy.

Ash had installed level nine FBI security pads and camera. The kid had hacked into the NSA pentagon for fun and was the main technical support.

Benny controlled the masses and decided when and where the drop off would happen. A simple in-out-exchange-walk type of business.

And Dean was the man to see if you needed anything and he could get it with a price. And boy did he provide.

The only actually school supplies that Dean owned was a pencil and one notebook. Other than that he walked the halls with his hands in his leather jacket and the most beautiful girl in school on one arm.

So as Castiel Novak turned the corner, nearly sweating buckets for his first day of school, and fiddling with the strap on his side bag. Dean Winchester, without a care in the world, will stroll into homeroom and put his feet upon the desk, whistling and a smile on his face. 

 

For now the universe was lining up accordingly but in oh say about… five, four, three, two

A loud bang and a crash as well as a desk screeching back on its back legs echoed throughout Lawerce City High.

First day of school ladies and gentlemen. The day when first impressions are everything and the universe just decided that Castiel Novak was not a lucky man today.

But more on that next time….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: http://thefayzqueen.tumblr.com/  
> criticism is appreciated and kudos are lovely


	4. A Bag and all that it Holds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The narrator describes what one messenger bag could mean to someone... We also go slightly into Castiel's past and insecurities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a lot of foreshadowing that I forget to mention in this and the previous chapter. so *raises eyebrows* see if you can find it.  
> Also, this is my first story that I'm consistently updating so please keep up the support. Every kudos is loved and appreciated.  
> And also, if anyone would like to sketch Castiel's bag that would be awesome... just saying.

If you were to classify Castiel James "Jimmy" Novak into a description, the phrase messenger bag would have obviously come up.

Castiel was lanky, and tall, his hair was always in his eyes and he had piercing blue eyes.

But everyone in Lawrence knew him as the boy with the side bag.

It was a really good side bag, though.

It was all-purpose canvas bag with one shoulder strap and multiple pockets. Seven to be precise.

One large one for heavier books or computer. One medium one for notebooks. A secret compartment. And four for anything smaller, mostly pencils and pens, loose change, and his cell phone that he constantly forgot about. 

Castiel had received it on his tenth birthday as a present from his parents for not making it to his birthday party.

He hadn’t minded. No one came anyway.

In the beginning, the bag was storage for any book or magazine or newspaper article that he could get his hands on. The zipper straining to close around Alice in Wonderland’s thick spine.

Then Anna had got him interested in pins and patches.

The first pin had been Schrödinger’s famous cat in the box, it had a teal background and a cardboard box with a speech bubble stating Meow in bold lettering.

Next had been the largest patch, a pair of black angel wings that spanned the length of the bag.

A pin followed for AWAY, American Writers Association Youth.

The next pin was the iconic Superman logo with a blue background.

And the next was the wings from the Survey Corps from the anime Attack on Titan. It’s green background making it pop from the brown.

And the last was a hamburger shaped pin that Anna had gotten him from a restaurant called Lucky Star.

The bag had a dark brown repair patch when the bottom had worn thin and dumped his stuff everywhere. 

And the back of it was signed was his third grade teacher and the message “Be the someone I know you are”. More valuable than anything in the world, really. 

This bag had been with Castiel for a long time, a long long time.

Through every rain storm  
Through every sunset or sunrise  
Through every bad day  
Through every silent night or those that were less than silent  
Through his first crush  
Through his every breakup….

The bag had been with him

This bag was the most important thing in the world. It marked Castiel as Castiel. 

The incredibly genius writer who graduated from Lawrence City High and graduate from Kansas State College and became New York’s Best Selling Author of the Decade. Happily married with two kids. 

So it didn’t matter that it was once filled with bubblegum wrappers or the stubs of pencil, crumbled drafts or less than perfect grades, its bottom no more than a patch.

This bag became what almost no one else could be.  
A friend. A companion. The very best bag a boy no man could have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll see you next Saturday? or Sunday? (oh god I actually have a schedule somewhat?!?!?) with the next update hopefully with some art of my own or others.  
> Remember to kudo or comment with your feelings (I read/enjoy every single one of them and they make me happy).


	5. Dean Winchester vs. The World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out about how deep Sam and Dean's relationship are as well as the most important thing to Dean (other than baby of course)...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5 is here! Mostly because I just finished my paper and I wanted to celebrate!!! :D

Dean Winchester could honestly say that he had the best brother in the world.

And it was true. Yes, they argued and Yes, they called each other terrible names but Dean couldn’t ask for a better brother.

Ever since he was born Samuel Winchester was always thinking out for others with his big, intelligent eyes.

He was always smart… always, he would observe the world like a puzzle that he couldn’t quite figure out just yet but you knew that one day he would crack it.

Dean knew that. 

He saw it when little baby Sammy opened his eyes nearly seconds after he was born.  
He saw it when Sam was hunched over doing homework.  
He saw it when Sam would look at the perfect grade at the corner of a test and the even better instances when he caught Sam looking at him.

Sam Winchester looked at Dean like he could have hung the moon every night and told the sun to rise every morning.

They were brothers. The best of brothers. Simple as that.

So, sure they fought. Called each other all the names of the book and then some. Fought using every tooth and nail to get their parents attention: Sam using his nearly immaculate grades and Dean showing how responsible he was when it came to Sammy.

That didn’t mean they hated each other. Didn’t mean that Dean would protect Sam till the ends of the Earth. Or that Sam would be always support his big brother no matter what scheme he tried to pull that week. Brothers.

It was Sam who found the bracelet. It was a simple leather braided band with a Celtic cross engraved dead center on a circle. It was in the bottom of a dollar bin at one of the many Farmers Markets that Sam loved to go to. Sam couldn’t remember which one it was now.

But Dean loved it. He slipped it on his left wrist, snapped the button, and hasn’t taken it off since. The leather is softening from the number of times he’s run it under the water and the circle almost shines from the amount of times he’s polished it with his fingers. 

Every time, Dean rubbed the circle or snapped the bracelet against his wrist when he was thinking, it was like Sam thinking for him. The impulsive part of his mind was quieted and the snap of leather against skin helped him to think ten times better. Dean didn’t hear the snaps or saw how red the skin had gotten under the band it was just a constant stream of clear conscience directing him what to do. What to think. How to feel.

 

So, during school, they’ll make jokes or punch each other in the shoulder.

But in reality they’re just so concerned with each other.

And Honestly that’s what brothers do.

That’s what family is.

And they honestly couldn’t have anything better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to always so some love to the author by giving this work a kudo, a comment, or save this with a bookmark. God knows this needs one.  
> See you next Sunday or early Monday as I will finally reveal what happened back in chapter 3
> 
> Anyway....  
> Have my tumblr:  
> http://thefayzqueen.tumblr.com/ 
> 
> And bye!!!


	6. Dr. Pepper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introducing Anna, Charlie, Principal Lilith, Jess, Mrs. Mills. Finally, our two main characters are actually interacted with each other. More of that famous Winchester banter and Anna and Castiel's relationship becomes known and the background behind what's happening with Lisa's and Dean's relationship, as well as some Sam/Jess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest chapter to date at 3,792 words. Oh god. Minor Cursing, Sticky situations, and Dean with a tongue piercing.... Bear with me...

The Big Bang (Not to be confused with the American sitcom) was a theory believed by many stating that the collusion and expansion of the universe started when two atoms collided.

Now if we take this theory and apply it to our context…

Then the First Day of School was a Big Bang moment.

Fate and the Universe are tricky things… they like to make the unexpected a reality and something that you think will never come true become possible

The First Day of School, henceforth abbreviated as FDS plural FDES, is a day like no other… a rite of passage even.

It’s like a national holiday for all the new kids. A day of suckish behavior from students and teachers equally, the almost constant embarrassment and teachers always trying to pronounce your name and it’s always, always wrong.

This was the same for Castiel.

So after mindlessly wandering the hallways, Castiel began to notice things.

Groups of people… teenage, heavily accessorized people of the feminine variety would stare abruptly from their conversations then whisper behind their hands as if Castiel couldn’t see them.

He didn’t mind it at first but then the crowds of people started to make space for him to walk on by. And the whispers became almost tangible mumbles. Then, slight yells across the busy hallway.

And they were all about him.

What he was wearing and What was in his messenger bag and most of all Who was he?

Castiel didn’t mind the whispering that much though. He was used to it from all the times he was the new child and it didn’t help that he was another one of the Novak. The most notorious family in all of town. Made from money, he heard one girl whisper. 

“If only they knew…” Castiel thought.

So, after wandering the green checkered halls, Castiel began to notice that he was going in circles. Or that he was passing the same group of overly perfumed girls, more than once.

So he did the one thing that he believed had helped him throughout everything.

He went to find Anna.

 

Anna was the only red head in a group of all blondes.

She towered over all of them with her new mint pumps and when Castiel saw her, she had her head thrown back in laughter.

“… Anna?” Again it came out gruffer then he expected. He tried to clear his throat but failed.

Suddenly, there was dead silence.

Then Blonde 1 spoke up “Umm… what? Like, umm Anna do you know this like loser?”

“This loser Brittany.” Anna enunciated every word and bitting back her response “Is my dear brother.” 

“Ohh! I was like totally kidding Anna!” Blonde 1 or Brittany started fake laughing and slapped her neighboring blonde’s shoulder “I mean, like he’s totally the opposite of you, Anna, and like I didn’t mean to offend you or anything but   
he like totally just barged into Mel’s a-maze story.”

“Well, excuse me ladies but I’m going to borrow my sister for a moment”

Castiel pulled Anna aside by her sweater sleeve. 

Anna almost rolled her eyes, “You know the rules Castiel. No communication at school unless absolutely necessary or life and death situation.”

Castiel let go of her sweater “I believe that this could count for a life or death situation Anna; I appear to be lost.”

Behind them, high pitched giggles erupted out of nowhere. 

Anna cocked her head to the side and said, “Seriously?” After a brief moment of contemplation, she resumed “Well, were did you want to go?”

The secretary had not given him precise directions about where his homeroom was, leaving him rather confused.

Castiel started to dig into his bag for his schedule which had less than conveniently placed itself at the bottom.

“You really should stop caring that thing around Castiel. It looks childish” Anna spoke while impatiently waiting.

Castiel didn’t hear her.

By the time he had finally gotten a hold of it, Anna had flipped out her phone and started texting. 

“It says here that I’m currently situated in Homeroom 105.” Castiel read off the paper than handed it to his sister’s waiting hand.

“Alright, so we’re here” she gestured to a block of lockers stating D-Lockers. She then waited and said, “Your Homeroom is here,” she again gestured to an A block but it was on the other side of the campus. 

“The quickest way to get there is to take this path,” her manicured finger zigzagged through the hallways. She then gave him back his map and waved bye over her shoulder.

Castiel thanked her and studied the intricate pathway she had pointed out. 

He then started to follow it. And so Castiel followed his sister’s advice, nearly squinting and having his nose nearly pressed against the map.

Oddly, this worked in the crowded hallway… for a short period of time.

Castiel was used to having to walk in heavy, rush hour crowds while reading a book so this simple hallway was nothing.

However, when your nose is stuck in anything book or not, you don’t realize where you’re going that much and your sense of direction gets thrown off easily.

Really easily.

So, when the first bell rang, startling him from studying the map so closely, He realized something.

He was lost. Again.

So, poor Castiel had been following the map… but upside down. Now he was even further away from his class and also very, very late.

He stuffed the horrible map in his bag, turned around and ran.

The sound of his boots against the tiles echoed harshly amongst the tiles. 

By then, however, the hallways were empty and the ominous hallways became more and more intimidating, as he ran by. 

So after triple checking that the door in front of him was actually the door he wanted and trying to control his breathing, Castiel wrenched open the door but overestimated his strength as the door flew off the handle. Great.

A female voice called out to him, “It’s nice of you to join us, Mr. Novak.”

And He stepped into his Homeroom for the very first time.

 

Meanwhile almost 30 minutes before, our other main character, one Dean Winchester, could be found by the infamous locker/food stash storage area of mass anarchy (dubbed by Ash).

Today, he was in charge of emptying out the old food and stuff that didn’t quite sell. And because of this grueling task, he was forced to wear blue latex gloves. 

“Sam, I know that when we agreed to do this that I vowed that I would not be managing this shit.” He lifted up a questionable item, gagged, and threw it in the trashcan next to him.

Sam didn’t look up from reading his brand new Advanced Chemistry textbook just replied “Rock beats scissors bitch”

“Oh c’mon Sam, how the hell does a freaking rock beat scissors? It doesn’t make sense! What the hell is your rock doing? Jamming the scissors up? The fuck kinda shit is that?” Dean raised his hands in the air.

“No one told you to go with scissors Dean. And you called the rules: loser cleans up the locker.” Sam calmly flipped a page.

“But seriously dude, some of this stuff is gross,” Dean held up a bag of mini snickers that had melted into an undistinguished goop of chocolate and caramel and peanuts.

“Well, you were the one who wanted to switch out lockers from that one next to me.” Sam flipped another page of his book.

“Ash said the camera frequency was bad over there and that other chocolate stain just wouldn’t come out no matter what we did.” 

“Note to self… Chocolate definitely has to be sold by demand; storage must be avoidable at all costs.” 

“Hey at least the Dr. Peppers are still good.” Dean had grabbed the last two bottles of the Dr. Peppers and threw one to Sam.

Sam caught it with one hand, his eyes not lifting from his page. When he noticed the label, he almost cringed, “Seriously, Dean? This stuff tastes like battery acid and has enough sugar to cause dentists around the world heart attacks”

Dean had the bottle almost half drained by the time Sam had finished “What! It taste amazing Samantha. It’s better than that low carb, fake sugar crap that you drink for fun”

“Smoothies are incredible Dean, just because you don’t know the value of fruit other then baked with sugar and put in a goddamn pie doesn’t mean that I don’t.” Sam chucked it back to him and Dean caught it easily.

“Seriously, this early in the morning? It never stops with you two does it?” A red haired female peeked from behind Dean and flashed a Vulcan salute to both of them.

“Now this is a face I could see every morning.” Dean reached over and hugged her smaller frame.

“Did you grow again Gigantor?” Charlie giggled and latched onto Sam’s forearm. “Seriously Sam they’re going to have to expand the doorframes frames if you grow anymore.”

Sam had a light blush on his face and rubbed the back of his neck, “It’s good to see you to Charlie.”

“I just call it as I see it” She winked at him “So? What big thing are we gonna do this year? Egg the cars? Paint all the windows? C’mon my blood been itching to do something crazy since we dyed the pool green over summer.”

“Miss Bradbury, I had hoped your detention afterschool would straighten the path that you so have diligently chosen but I fear I have been mistaken yet again. You will join your close partners in crime who have damaged the beautiful, beloved campus of Lawrence City High in detention yet again.”

Charlie sighed and her bangs covered her eyes, Dean was fumbling with the Dr. Peppers trying to hide it behind him, and Sam was shrinking under Principal Lilith’s glare.

“However since I have no proof to any of your schemes in progress and I’m in such a forgiving mood this morning that I will shorten your time to three hours instead of five and no phone calls to either of your parents. I hope you have a wonderful day. And I expected more from Lawerence City’s own Scholar Champion, Mr. Winchester. And Mr. Winchester I do not wish to see you in my office this year.” Principal Lilith walked off.

Charlie gave her the middle finger and mocked “I hope you have a wonderful day.”

“I would hate to make that detention 6 hours, wouldn't you Miss Bradbury?” Principal Lilith called over her shoulder.

“No, ma’am.” Charlie stammered out and did her best curtsy towards her retreating back. “Well, see you later asshats. Don’t get into trouble Dean cause Lisa will have your head again.”

“Whatever, Red. Dean Winchester is a free man. I don’t respond to no bitches. Dean Winchester…”

“Is about to get his ass kicked if he doesn’t say a formal apology in two seconds.”

Lisa had been standing right behind him the entire time and she had her armed crossed when he faced her.

Dean stammered ungracefully, “Umm… I mean… I don’t deserve such an amazing woman like you and I rue the day that you dump me for someone who can be the very best for you.”

Charlie started making whipping noise in the background.

“Oh, fuck off Red. Before I tell whats-her-face that you have a major crush on her” Dean’s face quickly morphed from puppy eyes to piercing (though jokingly) anger. 

“You wouldn’t!” Charlie had on her most outraged face. This was worse than when Loki had fallen from the Bifrost in Thor.

“Your presence is just testing me” Dean crossed his arms and overdramatically sighed.

“While you two nerds are having a moment, I’m heading off to Homeroom” Sam closed his book and placed it in his backpack.

“Oh shut up Sam! You’re the biggest nerd here. And anyway you just wanna see Jess again.” Dean commented.

Sam permanently passive face turned absolutely bright red and he stuttered his next words, “NO! I’m just considered about her Math grade that’s all and umm… It’s not my fault we have the same classes”

“Oh, Sam, honey. It’s okay” Lisa came over from Dean’s side and began patting his arm (the only thing she could reach). She then began enunciating her words slowly “It’s okay to have a crush on someone”

Sam sputtered some more. 

Charlie had started to walk away again but made the fastest U-turn humanely possible and leaned her elbow casually against Dean shoulder. “So, how bad is it?” she asked. More like whisper-yelled.

“Kid got it bad. I saw him with a brochure for that florist on Fourth”

 

“Marco? Oh, yeah! I know that guy. I met him at a support group once. Ooo and c-ute boyfriend too like if I wasn’t lesbian I would totally be banging him right now.” Charlie had stroked her imaginary beard. 

“Eww. Gross! I don’t wanna know about the florist or his boyfriend like that. No offense.”

“None taken. Just saying that kid could rock my bed all night.” Charlie started thrusting her pelvis in the air.

“Anyway, Sam’s been asking for extra allowance so he can ask Jess to homecoming” Dean just shook his head at her antics.

“How cute!!! Oh god I think I’m going to barf. How sweet is that.” She finally addressed a red faced Sam, “Sam, that’s so cute. I’m physically dying at how romantic that is. Lisa hold me. The men. They’ve gone romantic.” She started to slowly sink to the floor

Lisa had clutched the fallen red-head and had fallen gracefully with her “I must have been dating the wrong Winchester then. Samuel,” she gestured with open arms “Embrace me.”

“Knock it off, you assholes!” Dean barked out and the girls giggled together, “If anything, Sam got the charm from me.” He gave Sam his best smirk. Which Sam ignored.

Charlie got off the floor, “So… what’s she like? I don’t have to get my battleaxe from storage do I?”

“No, no she’s nothing like that. She’s amazing. And sweet and kind and beautiful. And she wouldn’t hurt a fly.” Sam started to get a dreamy look on his face.

“And she’s coming this way right now.” Lisa tiptoed to see over Sam’s shoulder.

Sam spun around quickly, his face even redder than before, but when no one was behind him he glared back at Lisa. She giggled at him.

“C’mon Lisa! That’s not cool.” Sam managed to get out. “I still haven’t asked her out yet!”

“Ask who out?” And there was Jessica Moore, blonde hair and all. Cheerleader. Student Council Vice President. All-A student.

Sam’s hand found its way to the back of his neck and he glanced at the ceiling, his face bright, bright red. “Oh, umm… Nobody… Well, I mean somebody… But not anyone you or I know in particular… Not that you’re not beautiful or anything… BUt… Umm…”

Dean patted his brother on the shoulder and leaned against him, he whispered, “So smooth, Samantha.” while giving a trademark Winchester grin at Jess.

Sam shoved his brother off but Dean continued, “Jess, do you have a crush on anyone?”

Now it was her turn to blush red. She stuttered, “Well… well… I like… umm… That’s none of your business Dean” She had squeaked the last part of it.

Just then the bell rang.

“Don’t think that we’re not talking about this later Sam” Charlie called over her retreating back . 

“Looks like the bell saved you Sammy,” Dean tipped his imaginary hat to Jess, “Jess.” Then he grabbed Lisa around the waist, grabbed the Dr. Pepper, and walked off. 

Lisa quickly grabbed her bag “Yeah, Have a good day Sam!” She waved and matched her pace with Dean’s long strides. 

Sam and Jess were still bright red but then Sam cleared his throat and stretched his hand out “Can I escort you to homeroom, Jessica Moore?”

Jess giggled and linked her hand with Sam’s “Lead away, Romeo.”

They walked away in the other direction.

 

Lisa was the one who spoke up first, “I heard Anna got a new boyfriend.” She paused to see the expression on Dean’s face “Some of the girls saw him bothering her this morning.” 

Dean sighed and rubbed his face, “Why are you telling me this Lis? Do I look like I care about Anna?”

Lisa, hurt and just trying to make conversation, removed Dean’s arm from her waist

She mumbled, “I thought you would care after you fucked her at Benny’s party”

Dean huffed and started waving his arms around “Why are you being like this? You were the one who wanted to take a break”

Lisa spun around, her face angry, “Why aren’t you denying that that was what happened Dean? Huh? I thought we had something special. I thought you could be honest enough to tell me about this but I have to hear it as a rumor? You couldn’t even tell me yourself? We’ve been together for 7 years Dean. I thought I meant more to you but I guess not.”

Lisa started crying and ran off to homeroom.

Dean called after her , “God, Lis, Lisa!”

Dean then kicked the nearest locker in frustration. “FUCK! Goddamit! Fuck, fuck, fuck” He landed a kick after every word

Then he let out a huge sigh and walked off to homeroom.

He opened the door and hoped to slink in while the teacher had her back turned but apparently, he wasn’t as quiet as he thought. 

“Mr. Winchester, I’m happy to see that your constant tardiness will be present yet again this year.”

The class giggled.

“Oh save it, Mrs. M. I’m not in the mood.”

“What’s wrong Dean?” She motioned for him to come to her desk.

“Lisa’s mad at me.”

“Again? And really, it’s the first day of school, what did you do?”

“I slept with someone else” Dean whispered.

“Oh, Dean. You’re lucky that she didn’t break up with you.” Her eyebrow arched and she pursed her lips. “Aren’t you happy with Lisa?”

“It’s just complicated that’s all” Dean mumbled and kicked at imaginary dirt.

“Well, if anything you can come to me. My door’s always open.” She gestured to the permanently open door that couldn’t close all the way for some reason.

Dean chuckled “Thanks Jody.”

“Hey now, it’s Mrs. M at school young man. You know the rules. And go sit down Mr. Winchester. It’s bad enough that you’re late” She smiled at him. 

“Alright, alright. I’m going.”

“It seems like you are not the only one who is late…” Jody sighed under her breathe.

“It’s nice of you to join us Mr. Novak” she called out as the door swung open almost comically.

 

And there Castiel was in his disarrayed trenchcoat and his stubborn tie that for the thousandth time flipped over and his messenger bag’s strap nearly choking him.

He let out a breathy “Sorry, Got lost.”

“That’s alright Mr. Novak. The school is rather large after all. Class this is Castiel Novak. He will be joining us this year.”

The class started chattering about his odd appearance and his general newness.

“Settle down. Now Castiel is there anything you would like to say to the class before we begin?” Jody placed a hand on his shoulder and helped him straighten his clothes.

“Well, like stated… My name is Castiel Novak and no you cannot call me Cas or any version thereof… I’ve always wanted to be a writer and English is my favorite subject… that’s all.”

“Alright Castiel. You can sit besides Mr. Winchester. Dean raise your hand.” Dean had his back turned to Jody, not paying attention. “Dean” She said a little louder.

“That’s my name don’t wear it out.” That got the class laughing again. He slowly around to face her, put his feet on the desk in front of him, and raised his hand as slowly as possible. His leather bracelet flashed in the sun. He flicked out his tongue piercing and played with it by dragging it across his lips. 

“Hilarious Mr. Winchester.” Jody attempted to silence the class once again. “Castiel, please sit beside him. Hopefully, your passion for the English language will inspire him to do better this year.”

Castiel made his way to the back of the room trying to avoid the countless amounts of eyes staring at him.

He was so focused on getting to his desk that he failed to see the foot jutting out. And he tripped and fell forward. At the same time, Dean was balancing on the two back legs of his desk and starting on Sam’s Dr. Pepper. So, he didn’t see Castiel who tried to catch his balance by wind milling forward and slamming his left hand hard onto the desk.

The desk however was tipped so far back that Castiel’s force caused it to slide backwards and dump (almost unceremonious) one Dean Winchester. Castiel seeing this happen, grabbed Dean shoulder to stop him but again his strength was too strong and they’re combined weight cause the desk to fall even more. The icing on the cake was when the Dr. Pepper flew into the air and dumped its contents all over both of the students and neighboring ones.  
When this was over and the paper had settled an odd scene awaited Homeroom 105. Here was Castiel drenched in Dr. Pepper and draped over the edge of the desk with one hand on the desk and the other clenching onto an equally drenched Dean Winchester who was on his back and flat on his back.

The class was silent for about two seconds then chaos erupted. Laughter and screaming and giggling and a million phones were pulled out to take pictures.

Dean was so shocked and Castiel was frozen. It wasn’t until a drop of Dr. Pepper that fell from Castiel’s forehead and landed on Dean’s cheek that they both began to move away from each other.

Jody took initiative then and started pulling phones out of students hands and dumping them in a bag. The students groan quickly echoed throughout the room. 

“Yeah. Yeah. Y’all know the rules. No phones during class.” Jody finally gotten to the fallen pair and steadied Castiel, who was still dripping with Dr. Pepper. “Go to the bathroom both of you. Class will still be here when you’re done.” 

 

Jody righted the fallen desk and pushed both of them out the door.

“Now everyone else, I’ve hope you did your summer reading because there’s this pop quiz that’s itching to be done….” Jody’s voice faded out as well as the class' groans of disgust as Dean and Castiel walked out of Homeroom 105.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not the end of the First Day, my beloved subjects. However, I might need to take a lil break mostly because I have finals from Wednesday to Friday and it's going to be stressful as hell.   
> Remember to always so some love to the author by giving this work a kudo, a comment, or save this with a bookmark. God knows this needs one.
> 
> Anyway, I hope to see you post finals with chapter 7!! Woohoo!!  
> In the meantime, have my tumblr: http://thefayzqueen.tumblr.com/


	7. Bathroom Rendezvous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Castiel are finally interacting. Also a wild Charlie appears. And what's this? More foreshadowing! Why yes!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that I have been gone for a long time but I got at least 5 major ideas/plot points planned out... I just need to type them out. Anyway, it's a random Tuesday update so enjoy!

“Sorry, What’s your name again?”

Dean was leaning over one of the bathroom sinks trying to wash out the Dr. Pepper from his shirt by wringing it out. He had stripped down to his white undershirt, the only thing that was saved from the soda’s wrath. And his leather jacket was safely hanging on a locker door. 

Castiel was doing the same, his trenchcoat, blue vest, bag and tie were lying over the back of the bench behind him and his sleeves rolled up to his elbow.

Dean had led him to the closest bathroom which happened to be the basketball locker room. It faintly smelled of the leather from new basketballs and lingering sweat.

“Castiel”

“That’s some mouthful.” Dean sighed and shook out his shirt. “Well, Cas, I recon cause you’re new and all, I’ll let you get away with this one.”

Castiel sighed, “It’s Castiel.”

“Where are you from, man? You’ve never heard of a nickname before?” Dean leaned against the sink with one hand and threw the slightly damp shirt over his shoulder.

Castiel had grabbed his tie from the bench and began furiously scrubbing it. 

“I’ve heard of a nickname before Dean. Don’t be silly. Someone that used to be dear to me calls me Cas. So it’s weird to hear come from absolute strangers.” Castiel dropped the tie as his shoulders drooped like a wilting flower. “I’ve lived here all my life…. But… I’ve umm… I went to New Haven.”

Dean saw how uncomfortable Castiel was about the nickname tried to distract him.

“Ah, so you’re an angel then.”

“Not anymore.” Castiel said quickly causing Dean to drop the subject all together

“You need to work on your people skills. You stick out like a sore thumb.” Dean started to grab paper towel to rub his hair dry.

“New Haven is very different from Lawrence City, Dean. We had rules. Regulation….” Cas looked down to his wet tie in disgust “Uniforms”

Dean let the sink run for a few moments so that the last of the Dr. Pepper could run down the sink.

“Let me help you.” Dean grabbed the trenchcoat from the bench and started to run it under the water and at the same time blot out the stains.

Castiel sighed again and gave up on his tie. He went over to sit over on the bench. He looked at his now pruny hands.

“So why LC? Haven is 10 if not 20 times better than this old dump…”

“My sister Anna and my brother Samandriel attends so my father believed that I would cause less trouble if they were here to supervise me.”

Dean stopped rubbing the fabric, “Anna is your sister?!?!” Dean yelped in surprise and turned around to face Castiel who looked up from his hands and started chuckling.

“Shocking I know. She got the red hair from my mother.”

“Dude, you look nothing like your sister.” Dean’s posture relaxed and he placed the trenchcoat down.

“I am aware.” Castiel leaned back on the bench and let out a slow sigh. “Anna is way more confident then I am… plus she knows how to dress herself and the miniscule fact that she can manage not to make a fool of herself on the first day.”

“Don’t be down on yourself man.” Dean lifted himself off the sink and walked over to him. “Sure you’re not a mega-hot red-headed babe with curves that can’t be plotted on a graph….”

Castiel coughed into his hand, “Anna is my sister, Dean.”

“Sorry! I’m getting there. So, you’re not put together and definitely not a super hot babe, but I bet there’s something in there…” Dean lightly tapped Castiel’s chest, “That makes you, you. Dorkiness and trenchcoats and all.”

Castiel blushed lightly and scratched the back of his neck. “Thank you, Dean.”

Dean realized how close he was to Castiel and swallowed nervously “C’mon man. Let’s get you cleaned up.” He offered a hand to Castiel and hoisted him up.

Castiel gripped his hand tightly and got to his feet.

“This is kinda random but… Do you realize how blue your eyes are? They’re practically glowing right now…. If your sister got the hair, then whose eyes do you have?” Dean clapped the back of Castiel’s back.

“I’m not sure…” Castiel drew out and grabbed the damp vest and even damper trenchcoat.

“Well anyway, you should see my brother Sam, Dad swears we’re related.” Dean rolled his eyes at the thought of his gangly brother.

“Are you serious? Sam Winchester is your brother?” Castiel asked, “You and your brother look nothing alike. Sam’s huge!”

“Oh! You’ve met Sam, already?” Dean raised his eyebrow and started putting on the slightly drier clothing on.

“Yeah. I’m in the locker next to him,” Castiel fumbled with the wet vest.

Dean subconsciously reached for the vest and folded it for him. Dean then gave it back to Castiel who packed it away in his bag with loads of paper towels. 

“If you two dorks are done fooling around in the bathroom, Mrs. M says that you have to get back to class.” The door slammed open making a huge bang and making Dean jump a foot away from Castiel.

“Charlie! WTF! Are you serious right now? You almost gave me a heart attack” Dean yelled at the red-headed who was leaning her hip into the door to keep it open.

“I don’t believe you were supposed to be in here… though your masculine name suggests otherwise” Castiel remarked on her appearance.

“Alright there, starshine. I like your sass.” Charlie crossed her arms and walked more into the bathroom.

Dean sighed and placed a hand over his blushing face, “Charlie meet Castiel. He’s the new guy from New Haven. Castiel, Charlie. She’s the dork that we all know and love.”

“Well, Cas. I do what I please and I go where I want, angel. You got a problem with that?” she squinted into his faces.

Dean tried to speak up about the whole Cas thing, “Umm… Charlie?”

“No, I believe it is alright Dean. I’m going to exercise my “people skills”.” Cas threw a quick smile at Dean’s direction and faced the red-headed girl in front of him. 

Dean was surprised at the sudden smile and his red face grew even darker.

“Charlie, I’ve only just met you but I’m fond of you. I do not have a problem with your bold personality but I would like it if you refrain from calling me angel.” Castiel smirked at her.

Charlie’s stone cold glare turned at once to a kind smile

“Ooo, Dean, I like this one.” Charlie tiptoed to call over Castiel’s shoulder. Her smile began less threatening and more towards friendly as she extended her hand, “I’m Charlie. Sorry about the whole macho girl act. I thought you were the one who attacked Dean in the first place so I the first thing that came out of my mouth and well that was less then cool of me but whatever I mean the past is in the past right? I do have to say that Man of Steel was not the best movie but I love the pin by the way”

She had noticed the Superman pin from his messenger bag.

Castiel shook her hand almost surprised about the quick way she talked, “Its fine. I believe that you were protecting your friend so no harm was done. I too love my pins.” Castiel fondly patted the bag twice.

Charlie practically beamed at Castiel who felt uncomfortable about all this attention.

“Charlie what did we say about overwhelming the new people?” Dean said finally getting control of his red face and shrugging on his leather jacket again.

“Not toooooo” She said in a sing-song girly voice.

Dean just rolled his eyes at her.

“C’mon Captain Kirk” Charlie playfully punched Dean’s shoulder, “We got to get back to the Enterprise”

Charlie held the door open and called over her shoulder

“You too, Spock.”

Castiel was wiping his hands with another paper towel but arched his eyebrow at her Star Trek reference. He gingerly rolled up his trenchcoat and trudged over to them.

There was a gleam of metal as Dean was sticking his tongue out at him and holding the door open with his foot. Charlie was motioning at him to move faster.  
Castiel quickened his pace and walked although somewhat stiffly out the door.  
Dean laughed at his gracefulness and Charlie giggled from behind her hand.  
The trio slowly walked back to class.

As the door to the basketball locker room slowly closed on this warm scene, one navy blue tie was left behind and was quickly shrouded in darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heehee  
> That ending tho... Well, if we're lucky I might post another small chapter up tonight just because. I'll try to update more regularly but the thing is, summer school is hard stuff. And I have a really hard time writing Dean for some reason. Plus Charlie loves making guest appearances in places that she is not wanted but still loved. Regardless of this small chapter (that may or may not happen), We might have a new character appear next chapter or a possible love interest or both. I'll let you know in the tags. 
> 
> What did you think?  
> What did you feel?  
> Complaints? Feels? Omg. I want more nows?  
> Leave a Kudo or a comment or even bookmark this to show your love.
> 
> I love getting feedback so don't be shy  
> Here have my tumblr: http://thefayzqueen.tumblr.com/


	8. Boulevard of Broken Stars, a Poem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a mini-chapter written a little bit later by Castiel. This happens a lot more into the future of this fic but still can be applied to current Castiel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, a little poem to tide you over until I'm done with the finals. Bleh. I hope you enjoy this as I try very hard to be creative sometimes. Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural in any way shape or form and I do not earn any profit from this. However, this piece is my original work so do not steal it without permission

Boulvard of Broken Stars by Castiel Novak

Thunder constantly rumbling  
But not a drop seen  
In a graveyard of  
Bodies piled up on top of each other  
Rusting  
Our hands met  
As stars exploded before our eyes  
And met the grounds in colors

You were my stars and my sun and my moon  
So when you eroded what brightness did I have left?

So in this graveyard of broken shells  
Gutted for parts  
Left abandoned  
I became a shell, my insides overheating  
And my face melting  
As I glanced at You  
My beautiful star  
Exploding towards the earth  
And leaving me behind  
In the graveyard of rusting frames.

You were my stars and my sun and my moon  
So when you exploded what brightness did I have left?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like it?  
> Do you want more poems in the future?  
> Leave kudos, comments, and likes so I can get to writing more in the feature.   
> Anyway, I hope I hear from you soon as the next chapter is going to be a doozy...


	9. Save Me, Fallen Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We see a little more of why I made Jody a teacher. Samandriel returns with an important object. Castiel has a panic attack. Plus a New Character.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is having a great Croatoan Apocalypse! I wanted to surprise everyone with a chapter and I'm trying to squeeze three to four others with this one before I go on vacation. Enjoy!

“You coming Cas?” Dean asked after the bell rang.

Mrs. M’s voice could be heard of the throng of students, “Redemption quizzes will be given out tomorrow for anyone who wants a higher grade or needs a higher grade…. I’m looking at you MR. Mi. I expect higher results this time people”

Her words were replied with groans from her students.

“No. I seem to have misplaced my tie.” Castiel was rooting through his bag, his notebooks and pens still on the desk. His trenchcoat was drying on the back of the chair.

Charlie came over and started to help him look, “I don’t think it’s in here Spock…”

Dean spoke up after slinging his leather jacket on, “Maybe it’s still in the bathroom. You remember the way right?”

“I can manage. Thank you, Dean,” Castiel replied another one of his small smiles reappeared.

“Well, see you later Cas,” Dean waved and grabbed Charlie with him.

She protested “But…. Dean, what are you?....?’

The slowly closing door had blocked the rest of her words.

Castiel shouldered his messenger bag which was full of his trenchcoat and began to tiptoe slowly out the door.

“Mr. Novak, A word please…” Mrs. M’s voice carried over to him.

She was sitting behind her desk, grading the remaining summer reading tests, and motioned at him to take the stool by her podium.

“Have a chocolate.” She said, pointing to the jar on her desk.

“Excuse me?” Castiel said with his head crooked in confusion.

“Have a chocolate.” Jody sighed and let the papers fall in a neat pile. “How are you doing?”

“I’m a little overwhelmed but fine I guess….” Castiel said in a slow voice.

“I have to say I was a bit concern that you came in late, your track record for attendance from New Haven was a bit less than excellent…”

Castiel’s face was blank.

“If you need any help, my door is open.” She replied slowly, in response to his blank face.

“I can assure you that happened in New Haven will not happen again.” Castiel replied in a calm voice, the hand that was gripping his bag drew tighter.

“I expect a lot from you Castiel but know that I’m here for you too.” Mrs. M smiled one of her rare slow smile.

“Please excuse me ma’am.” Castiel got off of the stool and started for the door.

“I won’t take anymore of your time.” She got up with him and pulled out one of the papers from the pile, “Good job.”

It was the summer reading quiz on Hamlet.

Castiel had gotten full marks.

Castiel was unnerved as he shouldered his messenger bag and walked in the vague directions of the bathroom.

However, this proved to be more difficult than he thought because it was lunchtime.

So crowds of people were walking in the other direction.

Out of nowhere, a hand grabbed his upper arm and pulled him to a gap between the green and white patterned lockers.

Castiel’s eyes widen with surprise then quickly narrowed to see his attacker but it was only Alfie.

“There you go Castiel.” Alfie patted his brother’s back. “I heard what happened with that Dean Winchester….” He trailed off, looking at how disgruntled and damp Castiel was.

“Nothing, I couldn’t handle. Dean’s pretty nice under that exterior.” Castiel replied fondly.

“Oh really?” Alfie said with a smirk. “And… is this yours?”

He presented Castiel with his blue tie.

“Thank you Samandriel,” Castiel quickly looped the tie around his neck.

“You better be more careful, Castiel.” Alfie waved his brother off. “Anna and I are worried about you.”

“Cas” Casriel called after his retreating form.

Alfie’s smile almost got lost in the crowd, “Cas then.”

Castiel’s stomach made his next decision…

He walked diligently to the direction of the lunchroom… 

….Or So He thought

The infamous map that had proven very little help since the beginning had gotten soaked by the Dr. Pepper and water treatment and had ruined any chance that Cas had of even vaguely knowing where he was.

So, he went to the place of memories and the best possible way to see everything.

The roof.

Luckily, the stairs were to his left.

Cas took a huge breath and began to climb.

There was a green door at the top of the stairs that was surprisingly open.

The door opened almost silently.

Castiel was sweating profusely; the late August sun was almost brutal combined with the humidness of fall approaching. 

He unbuttoned the top two buttons on his shirt, loosened his tie, and rolled up his sleeves.

He dumped his bag unceremoniously by the door and raised his hand up to his eyes to see through the blinding, noon sunlight.

 

Then he noticed her.

There was a low fence that looped around the building before a small brick ledge.

And the girl was standing on the wrong side.

She was short for a girl with wavy brown hair thrown over her shoulders.

She wore a leather jacket and low slung jeans.

She had her arms stretched out and her feet were hanging off of the building.

A stance that was too painfully familiar…..

Castiel moved quickly but stealthy, hoping over the low fence with one jump and grabbing the girl around the waist just as she started to fall forward.

“Well, when I asked for a guardian angel, I didn’t expect him to be attractive…” She said in a slightly Southern drawl.

Castiel was in a full blown panic attack and was gasping for breath, “Why would you-… What the hell were you doing?- You-You couldva died”.

He had left go of her as soon as his foot touched the roof. He was gasping for breath and shaking violently back and forth, grasping his knees. 

“I know angel. That’s why I jumped,” she said slowly, scared at what he was doing.

“I-I need my pills…. Oh god, what if I wasn’t here? Huh? Huh?” Tears started to fall down his face and started to rub his eyes, “I’m just- I’m just- Please can you get my pills? Please. They’re in my bag.”

The girl ripped through his bag search for the white container. She held it out to him. 

“Thank you.” His eyes were hopeful when they looked at her.

He took deep breathes, pouring two pills into his hand and threw them back; he then leaned back against the low fence.

“Care to explain what just happened there, angel?” the girl asked.

He looked up at her sharply, “I can’t….” He let out a soft sigh, “When I,… When I saw you there it just… scared me so much… it reminded me of someone else, someone who was very, very important to me”

“I thought I locked the door…” She said in a quiet voice. “I didn’t mean to scare you, angel.”

He let out a slow breath, “At least, I was able to save you… What’s your name?”

“Meg. That’s what my friends call me… if I had any friends.” She said sitting next to him with a slow sigh. “You?” She nudged his foot with hers.

“Castiel.” He said in a slow voice.

“Are you sure you’re not an angel with a name like that?” She asked curiously.

“No, it’s my parents who had the great idea to name us after angels.” He said finally calming down. 

He took another deep breath, “Meg honestly, what are you doing up here?”

She sighed, “I got caught with the wrong people are the wrong time doing the wrong things. And umm…. My parents decided to actually be parents for once. I ran away. Then I thought, whelp, since the universe has no room for me, maybe I don’t need the universe anymore. So I climbed the stairs til I saw this place…. Then this certain Wonderboy came to my rescue.” She smiled fondly in his direction.

“Meg, the universe does need you. I swear it. There must be someone who cares about you.” Castiel said trailing off, “And I bet they would be awfully sad if you left.”

She shrugged, “The world isn’t as golden as you think it is, Ponyboy.”

“Meg, I can be that someone… if you like…” Castiel said in a soft voice.

A single tear had leaked itself out of Meg Masters eye because Castiel Novak had said the only words that she had been waiting to hear all her life.

Someone actually cared.

“You’re a weird one, Clarence.” She smiled at him, rubbing at the stubborn tear, “You want some of my lunch?”

“Starving.” He said with a short laugh, eager now that that tension was gone. 

“I’ll treat you to lunch then,” Meg wiped the dirt off her jeans and stood up.

She offered a hand with the black nail polish on her fingers to Castiel.

“Okay,” His outstretched hand met hers and they went down the green stairs together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wasn't that nice?  
> Disclaimer: I have never had a panic attack so I'm basing Cas's reaction based on my creative basis only.  
> Cas's reason for the panic attack will come soon.  
> There is a reason, I keep switching from Castiel to Cas and I hope with time, you'll see why.
> 
> Anyway, Did you like the chapter?  
> Do you cry like I did when I wrote it?  
> Do you have no more tissues?  
> If so, please comment, kudo, or bookmark this story.  
> This motivates me to write more chapters and to see what I need to work on in the future.
> 
> Have my tumblr: http://thefayzqueen.tumblr.com/
> 
> Whatever choices you make, whatever details you alter, we will always end up.... here.


	10. This Angel, Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy. And a poem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be extremely sad. Grab a lot of tissues, like the entire box full because damn the sadness is real with this one.

Jimmy Novak was Castiel long lost twin.

Well they weren’t really twins but they looked awfully similar.

Jimmy was the bright humor of Castiel’s poetic sarcasm.

They complemented each other, the best of friends, and never ever alone.

One day after a long and tedious day at New Haven, Jimmy invited Castiel to the rooftop of the school.

It was one of the modern buildings so the smell of fresh paint still lingered in the air.

“This is my kingdom, Cas. Isn’t it beautiful?” He was dancing on the top on the ledge of the building, his arms swinging widely.

A smile was permanently on his face and there was a laugh at the end of his words. His school issued navy blazer was flapping in the breeze.

“It is beautiful…” Castiel trailed off as he looked off into the setting sun and all of the students leaving home.

“Right?” He turned to face Castiel his smile growing even bigger.

Castiel just sat on the ground and chuckled at his best friend’s antics, pulling out his journal to start a poem.

“I found the door open a couple of weeks ago. I don’t think they got all the keys to this place yet. How much you wanna bet that Headmistress Naomi would turn in her grave knowing that we were up here?” Jimmy called over his shoulder.

Castiel just chuckled in reply, his pen flowing across the page.

“C’mon, Cas. Come join me up here! The wind feels so nice.” Jimmy said stretching his arms out even further. 

“Be careful Jimmy. It’s pretty windy up here.” Castiel replied looking up in fear of his friend.

“You worry too much.” Jimmy said smiling over his shoulder.

“Just be careful” Castiel mumbled as he continued to jot down the poem’s verses onto the paper.

Jimmy started pacing on the top of the wall.

“Looks like that’s Michael down there” He said peering over to get a closer look, “And there’s Gabe. And Anna’s down there too…. Who’s that with them?”

He bent over even further to get a closer look.

“It looks like…. Oh shit….”

Castiel looked at right at the time that Jimmy had slipped off the building.

It was never determined what the cause of the slip was. Maybe it was a loose tile. Maybe it was slightly damp from the paint. Maybe it was just Jimmy being clumsy.

But in that moment, Jimmy was no longer on top of the wall.

He was hanging off of it by his fingertips. 

Castiel rushed over as loose papers from his notebook went flying everywhere.

“Jimmy! Hold on okay!” He yelled down to his friend who was hanging on to the short ledge by his fingertips. 

“Cas, I’m scared.” Jimmy voice cracked at the end.

“It’s going to be alright okay. I need you to hold on to my hand and hold on tight okay. And We’re not letting go, no matter what.” Castiel was frantic trying to find the best way to reach to extend his hand to him.

“Cas, I can’t reach.” Jimmy’s voice was straining and tears were dripping down his face.

“NO! You hear me. I’m going to get you. I swear, okay, then we’ll laugh and everything will be okay.” Castiel strained and willed his finger to go just a little further.

Their fingers slide past each other, the nervous sweat making it hard to grip properly. 

“Cas” Jimmy said softly, “Stop, I’m only going to drag you with me.”

“That’s the way it’s always been. You and me, kiddo.” Castiel heard the desperation in Jimmy’s voice and was trying to calm him down, “You and me til the end of the line.”

“Seriously, Cas? Captain America at a time like this?” Jimmy was trying to smile through the tears streaming down his face.

“Always.” Castiel said with a small smile, their hands gripping barely by their fingertips.

“Cas, Can I ask you to do something for me?” Jimmy said in a quiet voice.

“When you’re safe, you can do it yourself.” Castiel said with one breath.

“We both know that’s not going happen.” Jimmy said with a calm voice. “Tell my story.”

“What?” Castiel strained further to grasp Jimmy’s hand and to hear him over the wind.

“Tell my story Castiel.” Jimmy said with clarity. “Tell everyone about the true Jimmy Novak. About the laughs that we shared and the pain and all of it. It was a good one.”

Castiel didn’t realize that he was crying but his tears were falling on their joined hands and mixing with the tears on Jimmy’s face.

“Jimmy, I love you.” Castiel choked out.

Jimmy smirked, “Me too, you emotional sap.”

Then it was quiet.

The wind had stop blowing.

The students murmuring below stilled to a quiet whisper.

Jimmy’s fingers were done supporting him.

Castiel’s hand was grasping at air.

Jimmy Novak was flying.

And Gravity, like the cold, deeming bitch she is, caught him with welcoming arms.

Time had stood still.

Then it rushed at all once.

Castiel’s painful moans broke the silence first.

The slam of the door was second.

Teachers were pouring in like ants.

His third grade teacher saw the broken form of Jimmy and ran to comfort Castiel.

She wrapped her arms around him and just held him tight.

Then even tighter when the police arrived moments later.

 

 

Where are you my precious angel?  
The one who fell from grace  
The one who thought  
That wings could soar  
A smile on your face

Where are you my precious angel?  
Your arms outstretched wide  
Your halo crooked on your head  
But seldom do you mind

Where are you my precious angel?  
My eyes search for you still  
Grace no longer fills your veins  
Has blood erase your fill

Where are you my precious angel?  
I need you by my side  
For when you lept  
Your wings did fail  
So often did I despair

Where are you my precious angel?  
I need you more than ever  
I see your ghost  
Among the rest  
Your body left to ruins  
My heart in constant unrest

Where are you my broken angel?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the pain. No, I'm not.... its called character development people.  
> I really am sorry though, I had such a hard time writing this. My tears kept blurring my keyboard.
> 
> There is a reason why his name is Jimmy Novak. All will be revealed in due time. (I do these things on purpose to see if anyone catches them)
> 
> Stay away from rooftops  
> Drink some water  
> Have my tumblr:http://thefayzqueen.tumblr.com/
> 
> okay bye

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: http://thefayzqueen.tumblr.com/   
> criticism is appreciated


End file.
